The fear had pecked a hole inside
With its long pointed beak.
My fists went limp – I couldn’t fight.
My mouth wouldn’t speak.
I saw a threat beneath each tree,
Behind each closed door.
I chained my will and tossed the key,
Then I padlocked my soul.
It’s not for me that I had feared –
I’ve seen it all before.
Its just that those I held dear
Became pawns in this war.
I censored every step and look,
I questioned every smile,
I fled my castle, burned my book,
I went dead for a while.
And I had tried, I truly tried
To learn to lie and hate.
I failed at both. I’ve gotten tired
Of always being afraid.
I still have friends, I still have strength,
And truths worth fighting for.
I cannot let this happenstance
Consume me to the core.
I’ve played the fear game and found
That I am not impressed.
It’s time to get up, don my crown,
And do what queens do best.
Copyright @ Julie Deshtor 2015