The fear had pecked a hole inside…

The fear had pecked a hole inside

With its long pointed beak.

My fists went limp – I couldn’t fight.

My mouth wouldn’t speak.

‎

I saw a threat beneath each tree,

Behind each closed door.

I chained my will and tossed the key,‎

Then I padlocked my soul.‎

‎

‎It’s not for me that I had feared –

I’ve seen it all before.‎

I‎ts just that those I held dear

Became pawns in this war.

‎

I censored every step and look,

I questioned every smile,

I fled my castle, burned my book,

I went dead for a while.

‎

And I had tried, I truly tried

To learn to lie and hate.‎

I failed at both. I’ve gotten tired

Of always being afraid. ‎

I still have friends, I still have strength,

And truths worth fighting for.

I cannot let this happenstance

Consume me to the core.

I’ve played the fear game and found

That I am not impressed.

It’s time to ‎get up, don my crown,

And do what queens do best.

About Julie Deshtor

Julie Deshtor grew up in the Soviet Union during the turbulent 90's, and moved to the United States shortly after the Soviet Empire collapsed in 1991. A bilingual author, Julie writes both fiction and poetry, as well as translating poetry and lyrics. She brings her rich cultural and life experienced to her fiction, exploring the psychological struggles of her characters with compassion and insight, as they navigate the murky waters of the modern society. Julie currently resides in Utah, USA. Her interests include art, world literature, zoology, anthropology and urban subculture

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