What bothers me about modernity – Part 1

I have decided to start a new series of post regarding the things that bother me regarding the modern world. Any thoughts and comments are welcome.

Part 1

What bothers me about modernity is the dissipation of normal human social structures. Man is a social and family animal. Human initial (even prior to modern medicine) longevity has permitted for several generations to co-exist, passing on knowledge and traditions; blood and marriage bonds always have been the ce‎ment that held societies together. That interconnectedness is quickly fading, and we are getting a new species of man in the developed world, the solitary hunter type. Grandparents move to Florida or to a retirement home, the kids move out at 18 to another city, and a babysitter is responsible for nurturing of toddlers. Not one babysitter, but usually a quickly changing myriad of different ones. In our vastly overcrowded cities we often find ourselves completely alone, with no family to fall back on and no tradition to carry us forward. Grandparents cannot not pass their wisdom to the next generations, because they are in Florida! Lol. Old age is treated as an embarrassment, rather than a value. And that is just to begin with. The next topic would be overcrowding, but I will leave that for another time.

Mountain Echo

“The Execution of the Mountain Echo,” Vladimir Vysotsky: translation by Julie Deshtor:

Upon mountain slopes, which the daredevils consider their Mecca, their Mecca,
Where winds blow wild and jagged peaks puncture the sky, puncture the sky,
There once had resided a good-natured mountain (mountain) echo –
It used to respond to a cry, desperate human cry.

When loneliness swells in your throat and cuts off your air (your air),
And your lips let out a sigh that nobody can hear (that no one hears) –
This quiet plea for help the kind echo would pick (would pick up) with care,
Preserve, amplify and deliver it right to your peers.

Were they beast or men – high on poison and drunken on ale (on ale)?
They didn’t want anyone to hear them howl and brag (howl an brag),
And so they conspired to cripple the mountain (mountain) vale.
They tied up the echo and they silenced it with a gag.

It went on all night – the obscene bloody orgy of violence.
They stomped on the echo and yet no one heard a sound.
By morning a firing squad executed the echo in silence,
And boulders, like tears, rolled down the face of the mountain.
And boulders, like tears, rolled down the face of the mountain.
And boulders, like tears, rolled down the face of the mountain.

Copyright@Deshtor 2013

I am pacing…

I am pacing like a caged panther.

I am growling at the crowd.

White-hot, glowing, molten anger –

Let me go, let me go, let me out!

 

I will break free somehow, I swear,

of the present which makes no sense,

like the infamous whistling arrow

I will shoot for Eurasian grasslands.

 

Keep your progress and keep your science –

things that I do not understand;

here the sky is embossed with diamonds,

here the death mounds observe a silence

over endless expanse of land.

 

Here the Scyths and the Mongols mingle

their shadows and their blades;

here the wings of a passing eagle

brush the ghosts in their graves.

 

Here the soil is rich with slaughter,

here wild horses still roam,

here the Danube’s primeval water,

like the wraith of the Empire’s boarder,

still keeps Nomads apart from Rome.

 

Here wind drowns out the sound

of the hooves and the battle cries.

There are memories in this ground;

in my own Mongoloid eyes.

 

Leave me here and do not meddle –

I’m at home in the sea of grass.

Give a horse to me – keep the saddle –

just the horse, that is all I ask.

 

Copyright @ Julie Deshtor 2012

Getting your shit out of my house…

Getting your shit out of my house –
Like stench of rot out of my mouth:
You were so sweet, such a good boy,
I now know it was a ploy
To take my family and life.
Of course you took me for your wife!
I had the things you never had –
Real friends, a loving mom and dad.
You played your part, and I was blind:
You were so nice, you were so kind!
Without decency or pride
You lied and lied and lied and lied.
Though for one thing I will take blame –
I didn’t recognize your game.
But that’s alright. You went too far.
Now we all know who you are.
Live your own life and don’t touch mine.

You don’t deserve a better rhyme.

copyright @ Julie Deshtor 2013

A WWII poem by a Soviet Soldier

This is a poem written by a Russian (Soviet) soldier during World War II, right before Soviet Union launched a defensive counter attack against Hitler’s army. It had such an impact on me that I had to translate it.

***
To my friend who is writhing in agony –
Don’t call out to those you had loved,
Instead, listen, let me warm my hands a bit
On hot steam rising up from your blood.

You aren’t wounded, don’t moan, you are not a kid;
You’ve been killed, there is no going back.
Let me keep instead the warm boots off your feet –
We both know I still have to attack.

The album Two Fates by Astrakhan and Naumov – Vysotsky in English

Vadim Astrakhan, in collaboration with Yuri Naumov, has just released his new CD of Vladimir Vysotsky’s songs translated into English – “Two Fates“.

Album Two Fates Vladimir Vysotsky in English, Vadim Astrakhan and Yuri Naumov

As a little girl living in Moscow, I was immersed in the world of Vladimir Vysotsky’s songs. Then, twenty years ago, my family relocated to the United States.  Since then, I have obtained my English degree from the University of Utah and launched my own literary career.

As a bilingual poet and writer, I have been actively translating not only Vysotsky’s work, but also the work of other Russian-speaking poets such as Sergei Esenin, Marina Tsvetaeva, Anna Akhmatova, and others. Of these, I have found Vysotsky most challenging.  His multi-layered and complex language is particularly difficult to capture.

I have been following Vadim Astrakhan’s music and his translations of Vysotsky for some years now, and anticipated, with certain trepidation, the release of his new album “Two Fates”.  I knew of Vadim’s desire to modernize Vysotsky’s songs. I was also acutely aware of his love for the heavy metal genre. The idea of Vysotsky’s lyrics performed to a heavy metal/hard rock accompaniment was intimidating, to say the least.

Well, I must say that Vadim managed to pull it off! Though I’m not a fan of heavy metal, I can’t help but say that the music, production and presentation of “Two Fates” is superb.

The songs:

“Gypsy Blues (Tziganskaya)” has literally been given a new life, with lyrics, music and ambiance that brought it into the new century, allowing English-speaking listeners to experience the raw energy and intensity of this long-time Russian favorite.

“When the Great Flood Waters Had Subsided” was never one of my favorites as performed by Vysotsky.  To my utter surprise, I found that I enjoyed Vadim’s version of this song more than I ever did the original.

Other personal favorites: “Race to the Horizon”, “Tale of the Wild Boar” and “A Merry Funeral Song” skillfully convey the original tone and implication of the songs.

At the same time, my English-speaking friends, especially those with military background, are deeply moved by “Death Convoy.” Others are amused by Vadim’s rendition of the “Why Did the Savages Eat Captain Cook.” A few professional rock climbers that I know relate well to Vadim’s version of “If Your Friend.”

Overall, the album is a resounding success. Through his daring and unique vision, Vadim Astrakhan has managed to achieve what few had considered possible: he brought the spirit of Vladimir Vysotsky’s work into the modern age and in a format that is meaningful, accessible and engaging to the present-day English-speaking audience.

 Julie Deshtor, 2012

 

 

I think that i would like to die tonight (poem)

I think that I would like to die tonight;
I am so tired of this endless war.
Yet here I stand again, prepared to fight
For things that do not matter anymore.

I am the door you slam when you are mad.
I am the dirty dishes in the sink.
I am the monster underneath your bed –
That fragile, scary and familiar thing…

You need to know

You need to know that my smile ain’t real;
This merriment is worth its weight in blood.
You need to know that I don’t belong here,
That I would rather fade into the dark.

You need to know that my soul is tattered,
My hands are torn; there’s not much left to do,
That nothing that I had achieved had mattered,
That I can’t help myself and can’t save you.

I’m shadows, I’m smoke – I’m evanescent.
I am the echo of the setting sun.
I can’t redeem the past. Can’t fix the present.
And I have lost my faith in everyone.

I burned so brightly that I have burned out.
The sun is setting, now it won’t be long
Before I follow it into the ground.
Just please remember me when I am gone.

And don’t you dare pity me. You know
Your pity is one thing I won’t forgive.
Unclench your hand and simply let me go;
I’ve lived the only way that I could live.

monsters

We pretend to be badder then we are,
monsters,
living in shadows
of all our fears,
in the falling ashes of our past
alone with our badness,
alone.

And the flash of a blade in the night
means nothing
is nothing
like the leaves whispering on the empty branches
and glass shuddering.

And the love-making
is written in blood
sweet.
And the love-making disturbs voices
in your heads.

And your sleep echoes our timelessness,
our uselessness,
in your world,
where everything is counted,
where everything is measured,
where everything is sorted,
and shelved.

Voices break into sobs in your world,
a glistening void
where the blood hasn’t pooled,
where the blood will not pool,
where there is no evil,
no monsters,
no purpose,

And the silence reigns supreme.

When life is a bitch

When I find myself backed up against a brick wall,
when I’m too proud to fight and too tired to crawl,
when my lovers have gambled my secrets away,
and I can’t find a pen, and there’s nothing to say,
when the pavement beneath my feet crumbles to dust,
when there are friends around whom I do not trust,
when I run out of bullets and run out of time,
when my total achievements amount to crime,
and the house in which I had lived has burned down,
and I’m searching for my brothers’ bones in the ground,
and emergency dispatch won’t answer my call,
and I see my name splattered in blood on that wall,
when I’m high on the anger and giddy with pain –
how do I hit ‘reset’ – and start over again?